Friday, August 26, 2011

Friday Confessional: This SUCKS!

How on earth is it Friday already? Whatever, I'll take it. It's been a looooong but fast week. I'm so glad the weekend is here. YAY! It's time for another Friday Confessional.





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I confess....

I never really talk about this to most of my friends so I'm sorta shocked that I'm planning on confessing this publicly...

I confess....
I reaaaaaaaally hate when people ask my husband and I when we are planning on having kids. It's none of your business. When it happens, it happens.

I confess....
That isn't really the truth. The truth is that we have been trying to get pregnant for almost 2 years now and it's not going very well.

I confess....
I honestly never thought it would be this hard. All I heard in high school health classes was, "if you have sex you WILL get pregnant." Sadly, this just isn't true.

I confess....
Going through this process is heartbreaking. I've always believed it would happen for us but sometimes it's hard not to lose hope. And I think that's the worst thing of all.

I confess....
It seems unfair that people who don't want to get pregnant, do, and do so easily. Hubby & I have both noticed that it's the high school kids and the crack addicts who seem to get knocked up the most. Since I'm older than any high school kid by many, many years, I guess I'll have to become a crack addict. ;)

I confess....
We recently started seeing a fertility specialist. There are pills (both orally and well, in "other" places), shots, what my doctor calls "timed intercourse", ultrasounds, and blood work...lots and lots of blood work. I feel like a pin cushion!

I confess....
This is the most unromantic way to have a baby EVER. Yep, the timed intercourse thing is just what it sounds like. The doctor tells us, down to the hour, when we should be getting it on.

I confess....
Even though all the tests come back fine, I somehow blame myself for all this. I know it's something that happens sometimes, but I can't help but feel responsible somehow. I feel like less of a woman. :(

I confess....
I start a new round of meds tonight so I could use all the good vibes and baby dust that I can get. Please keep your fingers and toes crossed for us. :)  Hopefully I’ll have some good news to report soon.

I confess....
Yes, it sucks. It sucks big time. But I WILL kick infertility's ass. I am positive. :)


I hope you have a great weekend!

7 comments:

  1. it's hard to talk about, i know. no one ever says the right thing either. i swear any time someone offers comfort or advice i want to punch them in the face.

    so...HUGS i will say a little prayer for you.

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  2. I will definitely keep my fingers crossed/say a little prayer for you!

    We don't want you becoming a crack addict now, do we? ;)

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  3. You will get there! That positive attitude is what will help you make it through the rough patches...and in the end, you will appreciate the gift even more!

    WM

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  4. Thanks, ladies. I appreciate your support! <3

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  5. Wishing you and your husband the best of luck!

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  6. Kelly, as I read this, I felt like you took the words right out of my mouth! I love your honest and how much truth bursts out of this post. I'm so incredibly sorry for all you have been through and are going through. I'm sorry that it has been hell. I know some days it seems like it will just never happen. I just got over a really rough few days. Reading this brought me comfort in that I'm not alone and know you're not alone as well. I wish you didn't know this pain and I wish you so much love and luck.
    Xo
    Maria

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  7. You are awesome, and infertility is just so. damn. unfair. ARGGGGGHH!

    Hang in there with your positive outlook - you always have had a keen ability to see the bright side.
    ((hugs)) and gobs of baby dust!

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