I confess...I'm terrified!

I confess...
I'm really nervous about becoming a Mom. I worked at a preschool for years, and I was a nanny too. Not to mention I had a long high school career of babysitting. I remember watching a newborn when I was probably in 9th grade. Someone trusted me enough to pay me good money in HIGH SCHOOL to watch their newborn. I wasn't afraid then but I'm terrified now. Maybe because he's mine? I don't know...but I keep having dreams that I drop him or bang his little head into a wall. Uggg. The closer I get to my due date the more I freak out.

I confess...
The labor and delivery part scares me as well. I'm so not looking forward to it. I have been having terrible nightmares about that too. My doctor is requiring that Hubby and I attend a birthing education class next weekend. They even show you the tools that they may use during labor. No thank you. The less I know the better.

I confess...
I'm trying really hard to distract myself from thinking about the class. I have a baby shower to go to this weekend and the weekend after the dreaded class we're going to a family BBQ. This weekend is Mothers Day and I need to figure out what to get my Mom and Mother-in-law. Shopping trip! So I'm trying to focus on those fun things instead of the class. It's not really working but I'm pretending it does.

I confess...
I saw this story online the other day and it really warmed my heart. I love a good pit bull story!

pit bull rescues owner from trains path

I confess...
Lily looks just like my Maddy dog so it made me smile even more. I'm sure she would do the same for me....if I had cheese in my pocket.   :)

I confess...
Maddy almost made me puke the other day. I was sitting on the couch watching TV when all of the sudden I smelled poop. I thought she might have been sick and couldn't hold it so I ran around trying to find her mess. Nothing. Then I figured she must have been gassy. Nope. I realized she was licking her mouth. OH MY GOD!! She ate the cat's poop out of the litter box. Barf. Barf. Barf!

On that note...Happy Friday! Haha.

What are you confessing? Link up.

I confess... it's been a great week!

I confess...
It's not often that I can say I've had a truly terrific week...but this is one of them. I feel so lucky, loved and blessed. What a great feeling!

My baby shower was last Saturday. It was a fantastic day. Liam got so many presents it was honestly a bit overwhelming but very appreciated. The kid will never need another bib in his life! And I'm pretty sure he has more clothes than my husband and I combined. :) My sister-in-law, Jackie, had people bring diapers for a raffle. For each package you brought your name was entered into a raffle for (as she likes to say) a fabulous prize. I wish I would have taken pictures of all the diapers we got. There were TONS. I was especially excited because a good percentage of them were organic or natural. Yay. Since Liam's room isn't done yet half of the gifts ended up at my parent's house and half is at our house. Maybe I will try to get a picture when everything eventually makes its way back to my house.

(Isn't that the cutest cake ever??)

I confess...
I seriously don't know what I would have done without Jackie. Saturday after the shower she helped me organize everything into piles. Then she took me to several stores on Sunday to return stuff. I still don't understand how it happens since we had a registry...but we got several duplicates. And if I'm being honest, we got a few gifts that weren't on the registry which I didn't like. (Whoops) By the end of the day on Sunday I had credits at Babies R Us, Target and Walmart. Now I just need to figure out what we need so I can go back and spend my credit. It's burning a hole in my wallet!

I confess..
One of my best friends, Annie, is pregnant too. Most of our friends had babies years ago so it's fun to be able to share this with her. She just found out she's having a boy too. I'm so excited! Liam made his first BFF already!

I confess...
As excited as I am to go on maternity leave and not to work for 3 entire months, I'm dreading it. I don't get paid one cent. We've been trying to save money here and there but we're not really the best at it. I try not to think about it because it really stresses me out. Yesterday at work my boss asked me if I wanted to work part-time from home when I'm out on leave. I seriously almost jumped across the conference room table and hugged him. Yay! I can be home and still work a little so we will have some extra cash. Thank god!!

I confess...
I was so happy leaving work yesterday that I knew I was smiling from ear to ear. I got home and there was a big package sitting on my porch. The part-time sales rep at my company told me she ordered us a gift and it was being shipped today. I figured it just came early. I opened it and read the card. It was from one of my clients. How nice is that? I couldn't believe it! It was so thoughtful of her.

I confess...
I'm such a lucky girl and it's been a great week. I feel like this was a giant Happy List post instead of a confession but it's Friday so confession it is. :)

What are you confessing? Link up.

Happy Friday!

Confession Friday

I confess...
These hormones are insane sometimes. I'm sure everyone knows that but I like to believe that I've never once been hormonal during my pregnancy. HA!

Take for instance, last night. I usually sleep on my left side with a body pillow in between my legs. Maddy dog shares my pillow and has her head near my belly. (I really think she senses something has happened to me because she's been extra protective of me the past few months). Since I was tossing and turning so much I annoyed her and she went to sleep near my husband. I literally cried. Yes, you heard that right. I cried because my dog slept closer to my husband than me. Oh the horror.

Speaking of crying...

I confess...
For some odd reason I am obsessed with Giuliana and Bill Rancic. I seriously don't know why. I never watched the Apprentice. I hardly ever watch E! News or Fashion Police but yet my DVR is set to record their show every week on the Style Network. I went online the other day and I saw the news that they were expecting their first child via a gestational carrier. I was so happy for them I cried. A full on cry at work...over strangers I've never met. Hahaha. What is wrong with me??

I confess...
I was a sap before getting pregnant. I probably would have cried even if I wasn't.

I confess...
Tomorrow is my baby shower and I'm so excited to see everyone. If my bridal shower was any indication, my baby shower will be amazing. My sister-in-law, bestie and cousin always spoil me. I'm such a lucky girl.

I confess...
I've sorta been stalking my registry. I tried really hard not to.....but... I couldn't help it. Mmmmmhahhaaha. So yea, I pretty much know what we've got for Liam and what we still need to get before he is born.

I confess...
The thoughts in my brain are pretty random and jump all over the place so....

I read Mamarazzi's confession today and she always cracks me up. I scrolled down to read older posts that I had missed when I was too busy working and didn't have time to keep up with her blog.

I confess...
She announced another swap. :(  Damn it. I really wanted to participate in one. I was going to plead my case and everything, since I"m a newbie. But I missed the deadline. Next time. I swear it! You can't see it but I'm shaking my fists.

I confess...
Ok, I'm really not, but I've read the posts and saw all the cool stuff people send each other. It looks like so much fun. I really hope I can do it next time.

What are you confessing? Link up!
Have a great Friday everyone!

Friday Confessional

I Confess...

Technology wasn't my friend this week. Hubby called me the other day and said that he sent me 4 texts and wanted to know why I hadn't answered them. I never got any texts from him, or from anyone else. This went on for several days until someone suggested I take out the battery and reinstall it. Bam! 20 text messages showed up. How annoying.

I Confess...
To further my case, my new laptop is sitting next to my desktop and I feel like it's laughing at me. I set it all up and tried to get online and nothing. I couldn't remember my wireless internet password. I called our internet provider to have them reset the password. After being on hold for a half hour they said they couldn't help me. The suggested I call the company who makes my modem. So I called the modem company. Another 15 or so minutes later they say they can't help me either. They told me to call my internet provider. Uggg. Can someone just reset my damn password?


I Confess...
I've been working about 6 days a week so I needed some time away from my office. I took off today to get some projects done around the house. Hubby is out buying a new weed wacker and then getting gas for the lawn mower...and I'm sitting here catching up with my favorite blogs. Hehe.

I Confess...

I'm still waiting on those magic cleaning elves to show up. I reaaaaaaaaaaaally don't feel like cleaning today. It's way too nice out.


I Confess...
I did clean the bathroom this morning so it should count for something. Right?

I Confess...
I really do want to clean the house just so I have room in the kitchen to dye Easter eggs. I've seen a few DIY posts about dyeing eggs using silk ties. I went to the trift store and got a few last night. I'm super excited to try it. I'm hoping it works out...and if it does I will post some pictures.

I Confess...
Hubby just called to see if I needed anything from the store. That means he'll be home in about 5 minutes. I should at least pretend to be doing something productive!

What are you confessing this week? Grab a button add it to your confessional post and link up.

Happy Friday everyone!


 

Friday Confessional: Baby Blues (in a good way)

It has been quite some time since my last post. I sorta took a short hiatus from blogging. I wasn't feeling well. I was... Oh heck....

I confess...
I am 20 weeks pregnant! YAAAAAAAAAAAAY! Some of you might remember my struggle to get pregnant (which funny enough, was a topic on another Friday Confessional!). I'm so happy to say that is all behind me and I did kick infertility's ass. :)

I confess...
I had a realllllllllllllllllly rough 1st trimester. I was sick all day, every day. Whoever invented the phrase "morning sickness" should be shot. It was morning, noon and night. If I wasn't sick, I was sleeping. I had no energy. Zero. It was so hard to even make it from the couch to my bed. It totally sucked. I wasn't so sure it was all worth it. But it is. And I'm feeling so much better now.

I confess....
I cannot wait to meet our lil guy on or around June 25th. We've decided to name him Liam Andrew.

I confess...
I really, really, really wanted a girl and cried a little (a lot) when I found out there was a tiny penis growing inside me. I'm completely over that now. I'm just super excited. 

I confess...
I've never been so excited in my entire life. Excited and terrified at the same time!

I confess...
I want to start getting his room ready but both hubby and I are huge procrastinators. He's over at his friend's house and I'm blogging. Way to be proactive! HA!

I confess...
I joined Pinterest the other day to get ideas for his room. Now I'm obsessed. I just want to pin shit all day long. Notice I didn't say I wanted to actually DO any of the ideas I pin...I just want to pin. :)

I confess...
I picked out Liam's bedding already. It's gray. Everyone keeps saying, "Gray bedding? For a baby?" Yes. It's awesome. Get over it.


What are you confessing this week? Link up here!

I have to go eat dinner now. Liam is hungry.  :)  I promise to get back to blogging regularly.

Hope everyone has a great night!

Wait, whaaaaaaaaat?

I confess...

It takes a lot to set me off really bad but it's recently happened.

I confess...

I really want to punch someone in the face right now. Ok, maybe that's a bit dramatic but I'm seriously pissed.

I confess...
I really need some advice.

Ok, so here's the deal.....

I got a call from my cousin, Michele. She started rambling on and on about some weekend where she was expected to pay $500 to stay in a hotel. I really had no idea what she meant. At first I thought she was talking about Disney World because she's going with her family in a few weeks. Nope, that wasn't it. My brother's wedding? Nope. I just wasn't following. Then the conversation went like this:

Michele: Why didn't you tell me about Jackie's bachelorette party?
Kelly: I was going to tell you, Jenn (her sister) & Nicole (our cousin) when everything was planned and finalized.
M: Kel, the E-vite went out. It's a little late for that.
K: E-vite? What E-vite?
M: You tell me. It says "thrown by the bridal party"
K: I have no idea what you're talking about. Read it to me.

So she proceeds to read the E-vite that was sent out on “behalf of the bridal party.” It details an entire weekend from Friday at 6pm to Sunday at noon. The hotel is $245 a night and sleeps 4. The bridal party has reserved 2 rooms. On Saturday we are going to a club (which costs $100 to get into) in NY. Blah, blah, blah...

Wait…whaaaaaaaaaaaaat? I was speechless. Completely speechless. None of the other bridesmaids asked for my input, opinions or even emailed/called/text to tell me about the plans. When Michele and I got off the phone I went into my email. I checked my inbox, my deleted emails and my spam. Not one single message about the girls’ weekend. Not even the E-vite. What the fuck was going on???

I text Michele to ask her if she could send me the E-vite. When I opened it, I scrolled down the list of guests. Each bridesmaid was invited along with several of Jackie's friends and relatives. Michele & Nicole were invited, but Jenn was not. Neither was I.

Yes, you heard correctly. I was not invited to my sister-in-law to be's bachelorette party. 2 of my cousins were. I was not.

I confess...
I'm really pissed and hurt that they completely forgot about me. I mean, the last time I checked, I was a bridesmaid. Oh, not to mention, the groom's sister!! Grrrrr.

I confess...
Part of me wants to be a super bitch and call them out on it...to let them KNOW they forgot about me. The other part of me thinks that since they didn't bother to invite me that I'm not obligated to respond at all. Michele says I have to go but I don't want to. The bachelorette party is 2 weeks from Christmas and a month from their wedding. I’d rather spend the money on those things than to waste hundreds of dollars for one weekend... not to mention be stuck with a bunch of bitches that don't care enough to make sure the entire bridal party was invited. No thanks.

I confess...
I really hope that since they couldn’t bother to fill me in on their plans or hell - invite me - that I don’t factor into their financial calculations. I hope they don’t expect me to put in money for the weekend that I’m not invited to. Fuck that. Not happening!


What would you do? Should I say something to them or ignore it? I told my brother what happened but I haven’t told Jackie. I know that planning a wedding is stressful. I really don’t want to add to her stress.

What to do?? Akkkk!

What are you confessing this week? Link up.

TGIF!

Friday Confessional: This SUCKS!

How on earth is it Friday already? Whatever, I'll take it. It's been a looooong but fast week. I'm so glad the weekend is here. YAY! It's time for another Friday Confessional.







I confess....

I never really talk about this to most of my friends so I'm sorta shocked that I'm planning on confessing this publicly...

I confess....
I reaaaaaaaally hate when people ask my husband and I when we are planning on having kids. It's none of your business. When it happens, it happens.

I confess....
That isn't really the truth. The truth is that we have been trying to get pregnant for almost 2 years now and it's not going very well.

I confess....
I honestly never thought it would be this hard. All I heard in high school health classes was, "if you have sex you WILL get pregnant." Sadly, this just isn't true.

I confess....
Going through this process is heartbreaking. I've always believed it would happen for us but sometimes it's hard not to lose hope. And I think that's the worst thing of all.

I confess....
It seems unfair that people who don't want to get pregnant, do, and do so easily. Hubby & I have both noticed that it's the high school kids and the crack addicts who seem to get knocked up the most. Since I'm older than any high school kid by many, many years, I guess I'll have to become a crack addict. ;)

I confess....
We recently started seeing a fertility specialist. There are pills (both orally and well, in "other" places), shots, what my doctor calls "timed intercourse", ultrasounds, and blood work...lots and lots of blood work. I feel like a pin cushion!

I confess....
This is the most unromantic way to have a baby EVER. Yep, the timed intercourse thing is just what it sounds like. The doctor tells us, down to the hour, when we should be getting it on.

I confess....
Even though all the tests come back fine, I somehow blame myself for all this. I know it's something that happens sometimes, but I can't help but feel responsible somehow. I feel like less of a woman. :(

I confess....
I start a new round of meds tonight so I could use all the good vibes and baby dust that I can get. Please keep your fingers and toes crossed for us. :)  Hopefully I’ll have some good news to report soon.

I confess....
Yes, it sucks. It sucks big time. But I WILL kick infertility's ass. I am positive. :)


I hope you have a great weekend!